I almost didn’t write this post. Then I almost didn’t post this post. I’m a newbie. I just published my first book a couple months ago. What the hell do I know? Mostly when the twitterverse explodes with some publishing controversy or other, I keep my mouth shut. But dang. I couldn’t help it.
1. I read all my reviews.
Yup. All of them. I admire authors who don’t read reviews. I want to be them when I grow up. I have a bunch more books coming out this year, and I hope that I won’t always be like this, that I’ll become uber busy and, I dunno, SUCCESSFUL, and I won’t care anymore. But I doubt it. I think it’s just the way I’m wired. I care what you think of me.
2. Sometimes, I read a review and I think, “Was this person on crack when she read my book?”
Did she even read my book? If she read a book, was it perhaps someone else’s and not mine?
3. When this happens, this is what I do.
I send the review to my writing friends and I say, what the everloving hell? And they say, what the everloving hell? And then I get over it. Because I have other shit to do.
4. When this happens, this is what I don’t do.
a) Contact the reviewer in any form up to and including stalking.
b) Write a blog post about it.
c) Respond in any way other than to send it to my friends and say what the everloving hell?
5. In fact, I don’t respond to reviews at all.
Sometimes, when I read a good review on a blog and there are some comments, I want to jump in to answer a question or something, but I DON’T DO IT. The only fashion in which I “respond” to reviews at all is when someone tweets at me that they reviewed my book. I usually say, “Thanks for reviewing!” or, if they liked it, “I’m glad you enjoyed!” I stress out about even this. But it seems rude to ignore someone tweeting at you when they took the time to review your book. So I err on the side of vague gratitude (which is underlain by real gratitude). Sarah Wendell gives a great conference session on this topic, and she’s funnier and more articulate than I am on this topic, so I encourage you to check her out if you ever have the chance.
6. I have become friends/friendly with some reviewers. Sometimes I worry about this.
But I think it’s inevitable. We like the same kinds of books: I write them, and they read them and review them. It’s a kind of self-selection: it’s bound to happen. I also think that if you’re worried about turning into Kathleen Hale, you’re probably not going to turn into Kathleen Hale. You might make some mistakes, but they’re gonna be smaller than hers.
7. I don’t think this means they owe me reviews on any subsequent books.
8. I don’t think this means they owe me positive reviews on any subsequent books.
9. I’m not going to say anything one way or the other if they do or do not review or do or do not like my subsequent books.
10. Because basically, I hang on to two first principles.
a) I wrote a book, but then I put it out into the world. I cannot control the world. (If I could control the world, I would not be writing books. Okay, yes I would.) The world is full of people who will not like my book. I cannot make them like my book. All I can do is send their reviews to my friends and say what the everloving hell? Sometimes this is hard, but you know what? So is being a grown up, yet I manage to do that every day—mostly.
b) I am so crazy-lucky that people are reading and reviewing my books.
This is not rocket science, people.
End rant.
Now because that was so heavy, here’s a picture of my boyfriend.
I would die, but I would not respond. Photo by Ewen Roberts via Flickr Creative Commons.
What the everloving hell? Who is that guy? I give him four stars. (He loses a star because I don’t know what’s going on with his hair.)
That guy is David Tennant, aka the Tenth Doctor (Who). Get with the everloving program, Audra.
What a prudent perspective. I am not surprised. 🙂
As a reviewer of the aforementioned book(s) my comment is that I know where you live.
Kidding!
No seriously, when I write a review for a book, the only thing I expect from an author is nothing. If they feel like saying thanks, that’s great – it’s nice to know my thoughts are appreciated. If they liked it and they tell me, that’s great too. But I wear my big girl pants when I write my reviews and I don’t have any expectation from the author about them, just as I believe the majority of writers wear their big girl pants when they read said reviews and don’t freak out over bad ones.
P.S. I would be interested in knowing if a review I write ever gets the “what the ever loving hell!” treatment 🙂
P.P.S. I hope we can still be friends
I know where you live too, Christine! Bwa ha ha!
I am always very grateful when people review my books, but I guess I tend to err toward not saying much beyond thanks, because I feel like if I’m too effusive over a positive review, I veer into maybe being seen as trying to influence the reviewer. But I’m probably overthinking!
Also, no, your reviews will never get the “what the everloving hell” treatment! Not in a million years. Your reviews are always thoughtful and intelligent (and I’m not the only one who thinks so–I’ve had this conversation with other authors). Those are more reserved for reviews where it seems like we’re not even talking about the same book! I am also a reader, and in that capacity, there are a few reviewers I rely on for recs, and you’re one of them for sure. That’s the other thing that I think authors sometimes forget–reviewers have certain tastes and preferences, and they probably build up followings of people who share those tastes and preferences. If a reviewer gives a “false positive” review (which seems to be what some of the authors who have been complaining lately want), it jeopardizes their credibility with THEIR readers.
Ironically, I just left a review for your newest story – Sleeping with Her Enemy (and gave it 5 genuine stars)!
I really like this blog post and it gave me a lot to think about. There have been a few authors who I liked their books, but then read Facebook or blog posts where they trashed and ranted about specific negative reviews. Unfortunately in a few cases they were so specific about the reviewer/vlogger that it wasn’t hard to figure out who the individual. It really turned me off of the writer for not taking the high road or using more tact to express their frustration.
On the other hand, I always keep in mind there’s a person with feelings just like me and their stories are their hard worked babies. Similar to my non-writing job where it’s hard to have my work criticized or hear something negative during my annual review.
I read a lot of Goodreads reviews where the reviewer attacks the author personally and/or vehemently makes it clear they hated a book without being specific as to why they didn’t like it (or obnoxious .gifs). Or the opposite where an advanced copy reviewer copy/pastes or recaps the synopsis while giving the book 5 stars with no personal comment as to WHY they’re rating it so highly (or again with only .gifs).
Again, I really appreciate your thoughtful blog post and it’s a reminder of the saying “do unto others as they do to you.”
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Angie! Feel free to dislike my books, and I will never say a word about it, on Facebook or otherwise! I know what you’re saying about reviews where it seems like the reviewer is attacking the reader or not being specific. Yes, it can sting, but to my mind, it comes with the territory. You write a book, it’s out there. You can’t control what people are going to say about it, so you gotta put on your big girl panties. And while I appreciate reviews that are thoughtful in their praise or their criticism, I don’t feel that any reviewer owes me anything.
I like your books except the bad language