You are well aware that Mock Chicken has a decidedly feminist sensibility, aren’t you, Chicklets? That’s only because it’s so breathtakingly easy to hate women these days.
So I did a little dance of joy today when my CNN breaking news alert informed me that fugitive polygamist Warren Jeffs had been apprehended near Las Vegas. The leader of a wing-nut breakaway Mormon sect, he’s charged with rape as an accomplice and lots of other things related to the “assigning” of hundreds of teenage girls to old men. I’d been interested in this story, but sure he’d slipped away forever.
Now, we’re very live-and-let-live here at Mock Chicken, and so we’re not opposed to unconventional relationships per se, as long as everyone’s enjoying herself and as long as there’s at least the theoretical possibility that one old lady can have seven teenage boys as “husbands.”
Other than that, we’re not very morally-relativistic and we say down with modern-day human trafficking. Really, can you think of anything more repugnant than taking a bright young human being, still mostly unformed but full of potential, capable of going in a million different directions, of becoming a million different things, and shackling her to an old man who will regard her as one of his stable in an arrangement putatively made in the name of God, foreclosing any of the possible things she might become? Certainly God or the universe can’t sanction this, and so whatever the F.B.I. has in mind for Mr. Jeffs in terms of extradition (Surprise! There’s competition; he’s wanted in multiple jurisdictions!), I am certain it pales in comparison to what is in store for him when his karmic number is up.