Dear God,
First I would like to thank you for hearing this appeal. I understand that you have a very busy schedule and it’s only in extreme cases that you consent to hear appeals when your Only Begotten Son has already handed down a ruling. But people get stripped of Olympic medals all the time, right? So you must occasionally realize that one of your lieutenants has made an error—or perhaps not an error, perhaps more like a classical sin of omission perhaps due to their slightly-less-than-absolute omniscience or else just to their very busy schedules. It’s not like I think Jesus and Allah and everyone are just hanging around shooting hoops. That being said, please don’t think me ungrateful for the indictment of Scooter Libby. But come on, with a name like Scooter, you pretty much have to end up either in federal prison or in front of a local Kindergarten class in a clown suit. So all I’m saying is, doesn’t it seem only fair that whoever told Scoots about the leak should share in his downfall? I’m just saying…
I remain, your humble servant,
MC