Jenny Holiday

Pack your bags for happily ever after

My Chemical Romance

Does God exist?

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Yesterday, from Lily…

Subject: The latest proof of divine existence.

1) Find attached a photo of Gerard sans gear and dye: he’s still hawtt and it’s obvious he must have been human at some point. MayB there’s still hope 4 gearless, dyeless goth me when he eventually returns 2 his natural state!

GeeReal

2) My skin medicine is working. Keep yr fingers crossed.

3) The bus came when I got 2 the stop! W-O-W!

4) Most valid proof: THEY R POURING WET CEMENT IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. I’m waiting 2 hours till its dark, and then I’m going down there with a screwdriver and going apeshit.

Then, today, from Lily:

Subject: Proof there is no God.

1) That fucking cement was fucking Kwikdry and it fucking fucked me.

2) I spent THREE HOURS struggling up 2 City College 4 one lousy record -40 minutes waiting 4 the bus. Bus breaks down. Wait 4 second bus with a preteen who asks if I sleep in a coffin. Second bus comes. Arrive train station. Uptown train shut. Take downtown train. Take express uptown back up past local stops. Take local train BACK dowtonwn 2 hit missed stop. Tromp up world’s steepest hill in SUNLIGHT WITH NO SUNSCREEN – and when I got there…..the building had been bulldozed. It was literally a pile of rubble with the bulldozer still sitting on it.

3) I just threw out all that perfectly good generic Nyquil 2 prove I’m not addicted 2 it 3 days ago. Now I have a cold.

4) Gerard Way’s still not dating me.

Darkly,
Lily

Hey, having goals is good

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Lily got a raise last week. (Do we all recall that Lily is a U.S. investigator, with a badge and everything? Think about it: it makes a weird kind of sense). She has new corporate bosses and, it turns out, wasn’t aware that they were actually going to, like, read the lame paperwork they have to fill out each year before the raises kick in.

This is how she answered two of the questions:

Q: Where do you see yourself two years from now?
A: Being the lighting designer for My Chemical Romance.

Q: Where do you see yourself five years from now?
A. Married to the lead singer of My Chemical Romance.

Imagine her horror when she was called in to discuss her answers. The funny part is she got the raise anyway and that they even wanted to promote her. The promotion was not to her liking, so she declined.

Hey, having goals is good.

Lily lives a life of the mind

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Lily is my hero. You already knew that, but here’s another reason why. Last weekend Lily flew from New York to Seattle to see her celebrity crush, Gerard Way, and his band, My Chemical Romance, play a show. Gerard reportedly lives in Queens and Lily has even run into his brother and bandmate at a club, but did that stop her from flying from the shared city they call home across the continent on a whim? Well, duh, not!

The best/worst part is that before she headed to the airport, she went to the bank to withdraw some cash, only to learn that nine thousand dollars, her “nest egg,” as she puts it, had been drained from her account by an identity theft ring based in Cleveland who somehow used her old Minnesota driver’s license number to secure two cashier’s checks from the same teller at the same branch on the same day. (Don’t they screen these people? Don’t they have some kind of minimum I.Q. cutoff?)

They left her $36. Undaunted, she filed a police report, which was required to trigger an investigation by the bank, and got on the plane. A girl has to have priorities.

The thing I love about Lily is that she lives a life of the mind. They say that about a lot of people, and in most cases that means that they don’t do anything but read and write. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that! said the blogger who hasn’t been outside in 24 hours.) But there are entire worlds inside Lily’s head, fantastical worlds, and unlike many of the rest of us who also sport, shall we say, active imaginations, every once in a while Lily makes these worlds manifest by doing something like getting on a plane with $36 in her pocket to see a New-York based band play in Seattle. Just because she really, really loves the lead singer.

Life is short, Chicklets, life is short. That’s why we love Lily, because she’s braver than the rest of us. She’s who we want to be when we grow up.

I m under a wave of total depression that has not been matched since my Ian McCulloch days

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I m under a wave of total depression that has not been matched since my Ian McCuolloch days! I swear 2 god, I just watched the same My Chem video over and over again and sobbed. It was hilarious! Personally, I think it was triggered by having 2 sit in McDonald’s with Nathan at 2AM, watching him eat a burger in a 700 dollar John Varvatos velvet jacket, and wondering where my life was going.

Love, Lily
P.S. Oh my god, that Gerard Way, he is so bitchin’! Heeeeelp!

Lily wants to date herself.

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A note from Lily, Chicklets:

I M SO hopelessly attached 2 the singer from My Chemical Romance that it makes my passion 4 Ian McCulloch a low-burning match flare in comparison. I’m sure U can pick him out of the attached lineup.

See below, Chicklets. Mr. Mock has a theory. “I have a theory,” he says. “Lily wants to date herself. All her celebrity crushes look like her. Can this be healthy?”

Behold, second from left, Lily's pretend-boyfriend.
Behold, second from left, Lily’s pretend-boyfriend.
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